Monday, May 23, 2005

Darth Leia Coloring Book
Crazy internet post about Revenge of the Sith:

I go to the gym every day. I work 5 days a week. Why does this matter? Because in the last 4 weeks I have not heard anyone cough or clear their throats more than once or twice a day at either place. BUT, at the theater these last two nights, every motherfucker in the world with a cough had to be right next to me. AND, we have the puny little girl sitting next to me that kept bumping into my elbow and kept whisphering "sorry". Well, if my arm was there the last ten times you hit it, it might be there the next time too!! I do not go to a movie to hear people cough. I was so fucking mad that I told the owner, not the manager, the owner that I was fucking furious. I waited 28 years to see this damned thing and I had to smell a dirty theater where buttered popcorn had been allowed to seep into the carpet without ever being cleaned, so you could smell the rotteness. I did not come to hear people cough on the 20th of May. By May the 20th you ought to be fucking over your cold. Allergies make you miserable and make you sneeze, eye ache, sinus pressure. Allergies do not make you cough, so why in the fuck were a 100 people coughing? Not one sneeze with the pollen and mold count at record levels. I fucking hate people. We need another big war to get rid of a few million of these inconsiderate scumbags. I am proud of myself for one thing I d did tonight. I put my foot down. I told two guys to SHUT IT. I was ready to throw down too. STFU IN A FUCKING THEATER. I came to hear the stunning Oscar quality dialogue between Padme and Anakin, not to mention the disingenuous patronizing bullshit coming out of that murdering fiend Obi Wan's mouth. I will say this, no kids anywhere. Not a blessed one. This is a rare instance when kids would have not even mattered with all the coughing and shit. I am pissed off. I get mad as hell at someone I tell them to STFU and they don't do anything. Man I want to get into a good old fashioned head knocker. Too many "me me me" motherfuckers out there that don't give a damn about anyone but themselves that need to be shitting teeth for weeks. Assholes. And don't get me started about going to a ballgame.

Indeed--let's not get you started about those ballgames.